Name: N
How could you do that? You knew how much he meant to me. I don't think we can be friends anymore, but I promise to be nice to you when I see you. Hate isn't cool, no matter what you might have taken from me. I'm heartbroken, but more so because of you than him.
Name: Marley
sometimes i think the worst hurt a girl can experience is silence. no name-calling, no physical violence, just being ignored. people looking through you, talking over you, pretending you don't exist. every time i say hello to a girl i've known since kindergarten and she can pretend i'm not there, that she can't see or hear me, breaks my heart into pieces. by not saying a word, these girls that ignore me make me feel stupid, fat, small, unimportant, unloved, and undeserving of respect. that, i think, is the worst thing. all i can say is, thank god i just graduated from high school. girls, please know that you are important, and beautiful, and YOU DESERVE RESPECT. i can't tell you to not let them affect you, because i know it's hard, so hard, no matter what people tell you. but know that you are more than this, that one day you will wake up and these people that torture you will be out of your mind and not of your concern ever again. carry the hope that it WILL be better someday, maybe not in the outside world, but within yourself. have hope, and know that someone far away is sending you love :)
Name: R
You came to the program im at the other day (PCC) and it made me open my eyes fully in a long time. When i was younger i was abused by a close family friend i called my 'sister' and that always made me wary of people and how it was socially accepted to act. I never really had friends through elementary school and had (and still have) no self confidence whatsoever, when i got to middle school it never really got better; i was teased and made fun of. Finally in 8th grade i felt like i had some friends, people who had my back and would stand up for me... once again i was wrong... my 'friends' backstabbed me and even had their boyfriends call me on the phone telling me i was worthless. ive cut and burned myself before and once i took every pill i could get my hands on in my house, i like life but i can never seem to fully rise above and want to countinue living... i hope i can over come the drugs and darkness but i can never see myself with a future
Name: Sierra
Dear Justine, Im sorry for chiming in with everyone and thinking it was cool to make fun of my own sister. It was not cool at all. You are my best friend and one of the most beautiful people I have ever met in my life, inside and out. I was immature and young, and thought if I talked about about you with them, that I would be accepted. They were mean and picked on you because you were so nice and sweet. We all love you very much!!! Im am truly prud to call you my sister!!! Love Always, your little sis
Name: Sarah
"Women see women as a problem. Women see men as an answer" -Lisa Bevere We need to stand together!
Name: Anonymous
My friend , lies. I honestly don't understand why. She exaggerates(alot), and lies about things. She tries to explain, but the reasons she gives me, do not make sense. I don't understand. I don't think she undersstands that she is not the only one I talk to. She doesn't understand that I have ways to talk to people she lies about. But i can, any many times i have proved her wrong and she admits she lies. She still wants to talk to me, but I have nothing to say to her if she cannot be honest with me. It is sad, that now i cannot take information from her without having to think, is she lying to me?
Name: Denise
In sixth grade, I was victimized by almost all the girls in my grade. They would all run away from me on the playground,in a big group. There were a handful of instigators but the rest followed along. It carried into 7th grade. It was a horrible time in my life and at 52 years old, I can still feel the pain of their betrayal and general meanness. Despite this, or because of it, I grew into a strong, independent woman with national acclaim. We will never know how much more I could have become if I had not been victimized.
Name: Bobbi
My school days were filled with pain and sadness.I hated them. I always felt fat and ugly and unimportant. And I had some girls who were incredibly mean to me. Now, in my 50s, I have reconnected with a friend from my teens. She told me that I was popular and everyone loved me - especially boys. What a shock that was! I can't help but wonder how it would have been if I hadn't spent so many years feeling bad about myself and listening to others' comments about me. The women in my life today bring me such comfort,joy, understanding. It took me a long time to learn the depth of connection women can have. I'm happily married, but could never live without my girlfriends. I want to tell the young girls out there that you can start developing these loving and trusting relationships now. Learn to love and respect yourself, and approach others with kindness. It comes natural when you feel good about yourself. And surround yourself with others like you. When you're a nice girl, it should come back to you. And if it doesn't, know that it's not about you; it's about the other girl. Mean girls are unhappy. They are insecure, jealous, and scared. Feel bad for them. But know that you don't deserve anything short of respect and kindness. Don't accept mean treatment, and don't do it to others. Be an example to others. Don't wait many more years before you learn to enjoy the friendship of girls.
Name: Heather
I have been having fights every day with my friends. I've been seeing the school counselor and my friends and I talked about what we could do to make it stop,but I'm afraid it is going to keep happening. Please help.
Name: Allison Mueller
I like to be kindness to my best friend Nicole Tanovitz and Nicole is always nice to me and I want to have a play date with her.
Name: Anonymous
I think what you two have created is incredible and seriously inspiring. Thank You.
Name: why me
Why did you pick me to start those rumors about? You made sure I couldnt make anything. I always looked up to you, I thought you were nice,smart and pretty.But it turns out your just mean. Tell me why me
Name: anonymous
my post is a response to this: I got in a fight with my best friend, now i feel like killing myself. She has been saying the rudest thing a person can say to another. I WANT TO DIE. you are not alone. i've been there and so have millions of other girls. I understand the hurt you are feeling and I hope you can try to see past the situation with your friend. There is so much to live for. I know when you are in these situations it feels like your whole world, but your whole world is waiting for you. The girls who were mean to me in middle school-- I don't even know where they are in the world right now... and one of them is a good friend of mine now... at 23, I can say that I have an amazing support system of girl friends and that is because I have been through what you are going through right now. You are full of worth and don't let anyone convince you otherwise. If you want to email me directly, please do: lauren@kindcampaign.com I am one of the founders of this organization and I read through the posts frequently and this one caught my eye. Smile today...even if its a bad day. and know that it WILL get better.
Name: Lauren
As I'm writing this I'm going through a rough day with my supposed best friend who I've been friends with my whole life. I honestly can't even remember the last time we were actually "good" friends none the less "best" friends... It's possible that we were 5 and under because once school started our friendship was never the same. I'm almost 18 now. And I know how pathetic on my part it may look that I'm still friends with someone who treats me as badly as she does... My 'friend' uses people, especially me because I've been around the longest and I guess she thinks I'll always be there. When we make plans she conveniently ends up bringing other people into what we had planned and I get left out. She realizes the faults in other girls that have gotten between her and a guy she liked but when it comes to guys I like she talks to them non-stop and even talks badly about me to them just so she can ruin my relationships. She's a constant bragger and meanwhile has everyone either making fun of her or them talking gossip about her...these same people she'll be "best friends" with a week after the gossiping stops because she's dying to be accepted by these people. Only two people have ever really hurt me and that was my first boyfriend and her. He's not in my life anymore and I just wish it was as easy to kick her out of my life like I did him. In the end, I guess it is easy but I'm too afraid. I've been doing this same game with her my whole life. I don't know anything else. And although I've cried because of how she's treated me today, I'll be fine with her tomorrow....and I hate it. More than anything I hate the fact that I can easily stand up for myself to anyone and everyone else but her.
Name: Anonymous
I got in a fight with my best friend, now i feel like killing myself. She has been saying the rudest thing a person can say to another. I WANT TO DIE.
Name: Jill
I hate that it's so hard to find a female friend. A real one. I don't want to compete with you, I just want to be with you.
Name: Melissa T
My own mother was unkind to me my whole life. I wanted a hug from her and she'd push me away. She said she hated that I always got attention. She said she hated that I was always smiling. My whole life, I hated the way I looked. How can a mother be so unKIND?
Name: Anonymous
I was picked on growing up, I find, as an adult, that I dont tolerate it when people bring me down. I have a lot of hope because of programs like these that this issue will get better. I worry about "internet" bullying though. I would love to see this program specifically mention this issue, which seems to be a new problem, not yet combatted. I am well on my way to being a teacher of elementary kids, and I will certainly use this program in my classroom... It's fantastic!
Name: Anonymous
all my life i never really got along with girls. it wasnt that i ignored them and wanted nothing to do with them, but i did like to hang out with the guys because that was the only place i felt accepted. when i went to high school, playing pick up basketball was deemed as me trying to steal their boyfriends. in truth, i just loved the sport and the guys were the only ones that would play. Because of that i was shut out from the girls and therefore from their guys too. not only was i not wanted by the girls, but the guys werent allowed to hang out with me either. after that the girls tried to befriend me, because "friends dont steal friends boyfriends." the fact that i didnt really want to be their friend only made things worse and gossip started to spread. to this day i still dont trust girls, and wont let myself have one for a best friend.
Name: Jackie
the reason why i pick on others is because myself confidence is low. IM SORRY THAT THEY HAVE PROBLEMS TOO
Name: qwerty
I bullied a girl and she tells her mom everything. i feel bad. i don't know why i do it. I feel bad but she is kinda a bitch.and a snob
Name: Anonymous
I have very much been hated by all girls my entire life I never knew why, EVER in 1st grade i had one girl come up to me and say "No one likes you go home". ...that's exactly what i did I stayed home, for 2 weeks i locked myself in my bed room and wouldn't come out ...that was just 1st grade now that i am in high school i have been called so many names, had so many rumors spread about me i don't listen.As i walk down the halls, the girls whispering to one another i hear them say slut, whore , hoe but i do what i have to, just keep walking, paying no attention to their mean remarks. I just wait until lunch where i have my friends with me ...i guess you could say i have alot of friends but there ONLY guys Ive never had a best friend thats a girl NEVER. I never knew what it felt like to have a sleep over or go shopping with my girlfriends. Some girls say its because I steal their boyfriend others because I am perfect, but good grades is not perfect. I cant seem to get any girl to even talk to me with out them already thinking i am a bitch thats not perfect at all in my eyes. People say boy friends come and go but you always have your girlfriends. BIGGEST LIE EVER
Name: Anonymous
Jealousy. Jealousy is what stems this hate. Jealousy stems this insecurity in girls to lash out to others. Begin to love yourself and realize others are going through the same struggles.
Name: Anonymous
this girl started dating my bestfriend and at first i thought she was so nice and friendly. But after a while, i found out that she had been talking about me to my bestfriend and trying to turn him against me which really hurts because, we've been friends for so long and she just came into this equation. I can totally understand why she'd be uncomfortable [even though there is no reason for it], but i dont think she went about it the right way. Pretending to be okay with this friendship and then turning against me behind my back when i tried so hard to make her feel welcomed into the group. She still gives me that uncomfortable feeling but i've refused to stoop to that level. I'd regret being a bitch, I'll never regret being kind.
Name: Anonymous
this girl started dating my bestfriend and at first i thought she was so nice and friendly. But after a while, i found out that she had been talking about me to my bestfriend and trying to turn him against me which really hurts because, we've been friends for so long and she just came into this equation. I can totally understand why she'd be uncomfortable [even though there is no reason for it], but i dont think she went about it the right way. Pretending to be okay with this friendship and then turning against me behind my back when i tried so hard to make her feel welcomed into the group. She still gives me that uncomfortable feeling but i've refused to stoop to that level. I'd regret being a bitch, I'll never regret being kind.
Name: Rachel
i am in a time where I can't help. My frind's mom just started hitting her. She lives in CA and i can't do anything. Her mom took her phone away and she never answers her email. All i can do is PRAY.
Name: Kate
I have been a victim of girls starting rumors and saying hurtful things. More than once, little personal things about myself (which, I might add, was irresponsible of me to tell) were spread around the school. I've been called fat by certain girls more than once, and am sometimes told that I "take up the whole hallway." This is obviously just a silly hyperbole, but that really hurt me when I found out about it. Another form of girl-against-girl abuse which I have witnessed was just this year. In the middle months of school, I began to really like this guy. I told my friends about it, in the excitement of the realization. They, in turn, told me in one night that they liked him as well. That was not the worst of it. A week or so later, one of the friends asked the guy out. I was crushed and cried when I got home because my friend actually rubbed it in my face after the closing hours of school. I cannot believe I just said that, but it is present that girl-against-girl crime can be found in many ways. I think the Kind Campaign is a great way to get girls to realize that people are people, and we all have feelings as humans. Whether a person likes you or not, opinions should be kept to themselves. Thanks to this campaign, there is hope for girls everywhere! xoxoxoxo ~Kate
Name: Patty Petelin
Hello. I am twenty-eight years old and while I no longer experience much of what is being written here, it is not foreign to me either. I am a teacher and I work with young women every day, and sometimes I still feel like I am fifteen again. I have not yet seen the film, but if I could just share something with the wonderful young women who created it and those who are writing their stories here: Girls are not born in conflict with each other, as men are not natural born comrades. When each one of you reflects on your experiences with other girls in your lives, I would ask you to consider these experiences and how they might relate to power. Consider that women are in conflict/competition with each other because they are taught that personal power must be bestowed upon them, that it is something outside of them. When you live in a world where ANY man -- handsome, ugly, old, young, smart, idiotic, etc... -- has the power to judge a woman's worth, it is not hard to see why girls compete for power: because they still believe it is something someone else gives to them. Fortunately, I came to understand this truth as I grew older and I can say that the best relationships in my life right now are my friendships with other women. This is because women, when they are not competing for some make-believe source of power, are the most amazing creatures on this planet. Yes, be kind to each other. This is simple. But most importantly, know that the ONLY TRUE SOURCE of confidence, respect, power and worth comes from within. This is scary because it means that we are responsible for how we feel about ourselves. But it is also freeing. It will free you as it has freed me.
Name: rather not say..
in 4th grade, i was chubby. and people would constantly remind me of that- i developed an eating dissorder. in 2nd-4th grade i had no friends and was constantly picked on- i developed depressoin, that i still suffer from and i am going to be a freshman in highschool. the bullying finally stopped in 6th grade and i was fine. but then in 7th grade, i was stupid and tried to smoking because "everyone was doing it". the people i did it with, nothing ever happened to them. but me, was made fun of and lost all my friends. to this day i'm still made fun of for this. & now, this iear, 8th grade, all the upperclassmen in highschool hate me. highschool use to be what i looked forward to in life and now i dont want to go. people say im a whore, that im a waste of life, and that im ugly. i try to not think about it but i always do. they tell me there are so many things wrong with me. i have to go to therapy for cutting because of them. i told my "best friend" that i cut myself, and she told my whole school. now i get called crazy. i dont know when all this will stop, but im hoping soon. i dont want to go to school, i dont want to even leave my room sometimes because of these things. & they only do it to me, so does that mean the things they say are partially true?
Name: Anonymous
When I was in 6th grade I was so hurt by false rumors that were spread about me that I transferred middle schools. The only problem was that mean girls are at every school so new rumors were started about me there as well.
Name: Alhia
i had a rumor spread about me that said i was a lesbian and im not the only reason it was spread because we were playing spin the bottle and even though it landed on a girl i still had to kiss her (worst experience ever for me) so all of us in the group promised we would not tell anyone well guess what happened one of the girls spread that horrible rumor about me......*sigh*
Name: Roxy
I had a best friend in 6th grade. We did everything together and we were so different yet so alike. I had another friend from the boys and girls club I went to, named Anna. Anna didn't like Savanna(my 6th grade bestie) so she started talking trash about her in front of me. I didn't want to stand up for Savanna since I was scared of rejection and the possibility of Anna saying things about me too. So I agreed and added on to the things she said about Savanna. Soon I was convinced that Savanna was all of those things that we have said behind her back. So one day me and my other friends decided to ditch her, I still felt unsure about that decision though, and she caught up and asked why we were leaving her. So we returned to where we had left her, the playground, and we sat her down on the swings and said nasty things to her face. I didn't say much since I still cared about her. Instead I ended up taking her wallet, which I was supposed to hold for her, from my backpack and came up with the genius plan to hide it(sarcasm). We buried it in the sand near the slide but a random girl that we didn't like for some reason saw us and told the crying Savanna what we had done. Savanna was still sitting on the swings crying when the girl came back with her sandy wallet. I know what happened after we buried it because once we left I told my other friends that I needed to go to the restroom but instead I darted for the playground. I was going to secretly give her back wallet back, but I was still contemplating, scared that the other girls might see me and turn on me as well. That's when I saw what the random girl we didn't like had done....I wish I was the random girl no one liked, because I know that I'd be doing the right thing. It was really immature of us to do and say such things but because of that she ceased coming to the boys and girls club. We were such good friends that she first came to the girls and boys club, although she didn't need it at all, just so she could spend more time with me. I truly regret those things that I had done. I used to see her in high school, until I switched do different schools, and I always avoided her out of guilt. I wished that I had asked for her forgiveness because I know that if I hadn't done what I had done, then we would still be best friends. But I'm kinda happy for her that she's not my friend anymore because if I had done such a thing then I wouldn't deserve a friend like her and I wouldn't want her to be with a bad friend like me. The even sadder thing is that if it came down to it, I would probably end up doing something like that again, that's why I'm making an effort to change that. I will no longer act as a double agent friend, talking behind everyone's back just to please everyone. And hopefully I will be successful in achieving that. Hopefully I will truly be worthy of the good friends I have now.
Name: Joy Roswell
I was walking to the library. There was this girl. She's a little strange. She said I looked horrible. I thought 'wow. I love you too'. I went home and cried for 2 days
Name: Taylor
sometimes i don't even wanna go to school, cause of my so called friends they pick on me for the littlest things.
Name: Shandy
I told my friend that she was a slut and that she would never amount to anything and that everyone hates her and talks about her behind her back. I told her this because she hooked up with a guy that I like. I still feel like I had a right to be upset with her because she was my friend and she knew that I liked him. But I will never forget how gross I felt after I said that to her. In my mind it all made sense and I felt justified for saying it but as those words came out of my mouth I immediately realized the weight of the words I was using against her. I have always felt bad about saying that to her but I still feel frustrated that she did that with the boy I like. I dont know who is right and who is wrong but I dont think that matters. At the end of the day, we both hurt each others feelings and that is the problem right there--that as girls, we were so quick to turn on each other...it was so easy for us to do. I dont understand why we are like that.
Name: Natalie
Sometimes I feel like I dont want to wake up in the morning because my girls friends are always ganging up on me. It doesnt seem like a huge deal--girls being like this to each other-- but it matters. It matters a lot and I feel the affects of girl-against-girl "crime" every day.
Name: Brooke
Everyday when I go to school it's a reminder to myself that I don't fit in. I feel like no one likes me. I sit by myself sometimes at lunch because there's know one that I feel can be a friend to me. People don't take me seriously because they think I'm "to nice". I can't stand up for myself to mean girls or boys and I have a very hard time saying no to people when they ask me for things. I feel so alone. I just want to be liked.
Name: id rather not say...
I heard about this campaign from a friend of mine and I decided to check it out. I have to say, after reading all of these stories within this website and thinking about this issue, I have realized that I am the girl causing the drama within my group of friends. I always talk behind my friends backs and gossip about "what she's wearing" or "who she hooked up with last weekend" I know that a lot of the fights that go on with my girl group are because of the things I say and do. Im sure I have made some people feel pretty bad about themselves too. I have said some things to some of my friends that I wish I could take back. Its true- insecurities can get the best of us girls. I dont know why we are like this but I am going to try my best to change. I dont want to be like this. I am a good person. I guess for any girl reading this that likes to start the drama and rumors in her school- I want you know that I have been there...I am there. But its not worth it. Lets stop this cycle together.
Name: madeline
a group of girls my freshman year decided that I looked like a duck. they used to quack at me in the hallways. I dont think they realized how self conscious that made me. I hated walking to class.
Name: Barbie
I was a child who was raised with teasing and a lot of laughter. I then learn from my father who was a pro. Here is one example: He use to ask me, when we were at the beach,"Which bathroom stall is your mother seated?" I would point it out to him a bit confused why he entered the woman's bathroom. Then I just watched him in action as he showed me a frog and then tossed it under the stall at his wife. She then screamed and yelled, "Oh Bill?" Then my dad ran out of the women's bathroom laughing. Well, I then thought it was funny and followed in his footsteps. I had a nice friend down the street who I invited over and we went down to the canal. I had my plan of finding a frog and having my fun. We went floating down the canal in our swimsuits and I was looking for a frog. She had no idea of what I thought was funny. So anyways, I found the frog and I stuck it down the front of her swimsuit. It was jumping uncontrollably that she could not get it out. I was rolling on the ground laughing. Then she started crying and that is when I tried to help her get it out. My stomach hurt so bad from laughing. She was mad at me, but I did not really think it was all that bad. I just thought it was funny. My mom then pointed out to me, "How would you feel ,Barbie, if someone did that to you?" I said," I would not like it." She then said, "I know you think it is harmless, but you are really being cruel." So to this day, I am still very sorry for what I did and that I was only doing it for a laugh, but in turn I hurt my friend and she think I was much of a friend.
Name: Stephanie
Girls made fun of my nose my entire school life and even after. It ruined any confidence I may have ever had. It was torturous!
Name: Anonymous
the things she says to me make me not want to be alive.
Name: mya
people think i'm the meanest girl in school. maybe I am. but people judge me. they don't know what I go through on a daily basis. my life sucks. people dont know that. so im sorry if i've learned to take my aggression out of other people. if you walked a day in my shoes maybe you would understand. ill forgive you all for not understanding because you don't know any better. you just see this black dot at your school who likes to act really tough. well, im not so tough and im told that on a daily basis.
Name: Michelle
I say the meanest things about my friends and I don't know why I do it. Sometimes I say mean things to their face. I can't believe I'm admitting this right now but like a month ago I told one of my friends that she should get a nose job if she wants any guys to like her. i duno. It's like I can't help it or something.
Name: Casey
I am scared to go to school. I tell my mom I'm sick a lot so that I won't have to go. I just hate trying to look a certain way to try and fit in. When I dont try, these girls make fun of me like "oo casey looks like a boy! and her name is a boys name too" and when I do put on make-up and look cute they still make fun of me and say "oo casey decided to play dress up today!" I can't win.
Name: Nicole
A specific group of girls has been mean to me for the last two years at school. We used to play tennis together on our high school team. I quit the team last week after I found out one of the girls told our whole team that I do drugs and sleep around...the truth? I've smoked one cigaret in my life and I'm a virgin. Everyone on the team listens to her though so they all believe the things she says about me. I am tired of the looks I get everyday and the way they make me feel so I told my mom I hate tennis now so that she wont ask questions as to why I quit the team. I love tennis and I wish I was still playing. I dont even know why they don't like me. I just hope it gets better one day.
Name: Cassy
i have bullied girls befor but mostly just for self protection and i am not sorry for most of the stuff i did back to them cauz they deserved it all of it !
Name: Anonymous
In eighth grade everyone was worried about what high school would be like. I was worried that once we got to high school i'd be replaced or disregarded. My friend M* and I were getting very close and I was concerned that her other best friend L* that I was not very close with would try and destroy that. In middle school I constantly felt isolated even though I had people all around me. M*, L*, and I were all in the same math class when L* noticed I had some type of scar on my arm. After lunch people started coming up to me asking me why I cut myself, etc. I thought to myself "What the hell are they talking about?" I then found out that L* saw a burn that I had on my arm and decided to start a rumor that I cut myself just to make me look like a looney.